The Unlikely Messenger: A Slice of Life with Debra Brown
The sun emerged from behind clouds, warming my spot in the driveway. I opened the car door, ready for a full day that promised to spill into the night.
I earned my busy badge by enjoying the fast-paced life as a working mom, busy marketing professional, and wife of a business owner and mayor. It never occurred to me to take time to breathe.
I’d start early in the morning with carpooling and end late at night with extra work after bedtime. Or I’d attend an evening event with my husband, Allen.
To-do lists, deadlines, meetings, carpooling, school activities, projects, and caregiving for my elderly parents ruled my day.
I’d thrive and survive until my body shut down.
The shutdown started small, but symptoms escalated until I couldn’t ignore them. Extreme stress seemed to aggravate the issues.
Everyone said, “You need to slow down.”
But how could I? After Meredith left for college, graduated, and worked in Asheville, my load felt heavier without her help with Mom and Dad.
So, I kept going until I couldn’t when an autoimmune disease roared out.
The specialist said, “Your body is attacking itself. It can attack anywhere in your body at any time.” He described a grim prognosis. “There’s no cure.”
You’d think after a devastating diagnosis, I’d make significant changes to my personal and work habits.
Even after Meredith moved home to help, I didn’t feel I had the luxury of leisure time until one night while creating a brochure.
The computer screen’s focused pool of light in the darkness illuminated the immediate area of my desk as I worked on the marketing piece. I didn’t notice the air conditioner’s hum, the ticking clock, or the click of my mouse.
I jumped when Meredith stood before me, but I gave her a sheepish smile.
She scoffed.
“Debra Brown, you need to go to bed.” She meant business.
I started to argue but winced as I saw her worry. I had no excuse as she chided me about the late hour.
She sidled closer, gave me a gentle side hug, and looked over my shoulder at the colorful layout.
“Your body doesn’t know you are enjoying your creativity. It doesn’t matter if it’s fun for you. Your body only knows you aren’t resting.”
Wow. Meredith’s words hit home.
“We understand you must rest,” she continued. “There’s no shame in it. Everyone needs rest to perform at their best, even elite athletes.”
She sighed with a deep breath.
“Why do you push so hard?” she asked, her voice soft and concerned. “You don’t have anything to prove.”
“Don’t I?” I asked. “I have to keep up the pace so no one will think I am less than before.”
To overcompensate for my illness, I responded yes to everything.
“No problem. I can do it.”
“I’m happy to help.”
“Yes, of course. I have time.”
I never considered retiring my busy badge until Meredith forced me to recognize the cost to my health.
In reflection, I realized too much busyness affected other areas of my life. I had no time for lunches with friends, which caused us to lose touch. I couldn’t remember the last time Allen and I enjoyed a date night, and our marriage suffered. Fatigue kept me from spending quality time with my parents or Meredith.
This busy badge led me to extra stress, burnout, and even chronic illness— none of which provided a lifestyle for health, happiness, or longevity.
I realized I needed to make changes for my well-being and have time for life’s essentials.
So, for better work-life balance, I replaced my to-do list with a working calendar, time-blocking everything I wanted and needed to do into calendar squares. I made time for family and friends, adding fun and excitement to my life. I left blank squares for me-time.
These blank squares became pauses in my day, which helped me have more energy, sharper focus, and better thinking skills. I could perform like before.
My health remained a big issue, so I started working on a wellness plan to heal my body. The components included key ingredients for a healthy lifestyle: reclaiming a positive mindset, clean eating, hydrating, moving more, resting, listening to my body, and having fun.
As my plan evolved, I added breathing techniques, supplements, puzzles, and holistic resources.
And on the seventh day, I relied on the teachings in Matthew 11:28-30.
Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.”
When we retire the busy badge, we schedule our priorities, not prioritize what’s on our schedule. We make time for the important.
On the seventh day, along with our daily pauses, we choose stillness for self-care and slowing down for self-love. We listen to our inner thoughts and what our body tells us. We know God is with us even in a world that reveres and expects busyness and the need to excel in everything. Our mind, body, and spirit will thank us.
Debra Brown’s motto is “Be the Spark.” She has a passion for family, her 3 cats, flowers, pretty food, and health & wellness. Debra is an author, UGA honors graduate/The Citadel MBA.