The Unlikely Messenger: A Slice of Life with Debra Brown
“April showers bring May flowers and fill the world with beauty and joy,” I thought as the heavens opened up with a downpour when I pulled in behind the office.
While I sat in my car, waiting for the rain to subside, I couldn’t help but think about the one thing that had once brought me so much joy but now filled me with dread: writing.
I’d lost my confidence in everything when an autoimmune issue returned in 2022 after years of remission. It disrupted my routine, physical capabilities, and any sense of control, which led to feelings of vulnerability and self-doubt. But I wanted my life back, and writing was a big part of it.
I called my daughter Meredith to check in and discuss the situation. Maybe she’d have ideas on how I could overcome my self-doubt and fear and put pen to paper again.
Despite the deluge outside, I felt cocooned in the car and got to the point of the call after we caught up for a minute.
“I miss writing,” I said to her. “I haven’t submitted any stories in years.” It was hard to explain my fear when I didn’t understand it myself.
Big, fat raindrops peppered the windshield, drowning out her comment.
So, Meredith repeated, “You’ve known you were a writer since sixth grade.”
She reminded me of a clear memory: My sixth-grade teacher took me to the principal’s office. I sat on the edge of a wooden chair, terrified, as she handed him my paper on photosynthesis. “Read this,” she said to him. “She’ll be a writer one day.”
I’d used my writing in my marketing career, published creative non-fiction stories in hundreds of books and magazines, and taught classes at writing workshops.
“I have faith in you,” Meredith said. “You need to lean on yours.”
We ended the call, and I silently prayed, “Lord, give me the strength to face my fears and clarity of mind to find my purpose again. Help me walk the path you’ve laid out for me, even though I feel rusty now and lack my usual confidence. I need your help if writing is still part of your plan for me.”
I exited the car when the rain let up, kept my head down, and skirted the yellow pollen-streaked puddles to get to the back door. Water gushed through the gutter, splashing onto the pavement. I breathed in the fresh, clean scent, feeling renewed.
“It’s Spring and the perfect time for rebirth, even for writing,” I thought as I brushed water droplets away and stamped my feet on the rug.
To regain my confidence, I started small, focusing on moving forward, not perfection.
I wrote on a sticky note in my office, “I am a writer. I am a writer. I AM a writer.” I placed it on the penholder on my desk so I could see it every time I sat in my chair.
It’s like they say, “Belief is half the battle.”
Even at home, I practiced self-compassion, acknowledging the physical, mental, and spiritual challenges I’d faced.
I also placed another sticky note mantra on my bathroom mirror: “Write with grace and determination.”
I’d cultivate a positive and productive writing mindset using this focus to produce my best work.
In the meantime, I maintained a healthy lifestyle to get stronger. The better I felt, the more confidence I gained to accomplish everyday home and work tasks.
When a nudge of an idea appeared, I shared it on Facebook. I didn’t focus on a professionally crafted and edited piece. I just spoke from the heart.
Then, in March of the following year, Pastor Tony from our church said, “I hear you are a writer.”
“Yes,” I stammered.
“Would you like to write something on our new ministry website?”
That question led to a series of Facebook Messenger conversations, during which I asked, “Would a blog of true stories with an uplifting message work? That’s my writing style.”
He said, “Absolutely,” so I began to write again with Philippians 4:13 in my heart. “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.”
A few months later, The Unlikely Messenger monthly blog series launched.
The more I wrote on deadline each month, the quicker my belief in my abilities returned. The support of friends and positive feedback touched my heart and encouraged me to continue. I felt God’s hand as I came up with real-life stories from my past each month. I celebrated every beginning, middle, and ending I wrote.
The more I accomplished, the more I understood that God will help us navigate life’s challenges and changes when we’re adrift. If we seek God first and align our passions with His will, He’ll lead us to true fulfillment in our purpose.
Recently, as the late afternoon sun painted the room golden, I FaceTimed with Meredith.
“Mom,” she said, beaming, “I read the story you sent. Well done! You should shop some stories around for publication. You’re ready.”
As we ended the call, I knew I’d found my way back to my true purpose – writing from the heart, with faith and confidence reborn.
Debra Brown’s motto is “Be the Spark.” She has a passion for family, her 3 cats, flowers, pretty food, and health & wellness. Debra is an author, UGA honors graduate/The Citadel MBA.